In the old days, the only accent allowed on British TV or radio was this one:

But now it’s the new days, and things are changing. Kind of.

Because while there’s a broader range of accents in advertising than ever before, they’re not evenly distributed. Accents come with cultural baggage, and some are more likely to wind up voicing certain products and categories, while others never appear at all (whither the Wolverhampton VO??)

In all seriousness, this is a Bad Thing, and marketers should work to diversify the voices we hear in advertising.

But also in all not seriousness, we’ve written this guide to picking an accent for your ad, according to all the ads that are already running…

 

If you want people to trust you…

 

… get ‘rural’.

Before O2 was O2, it was British Telecom, and everyone trusted it because it had ‘British’ in the name. The only thing that could conjure up the same kind of trust post-rebrand? Sean Bean.

Because those dulcet Yorkshire tones sound reassuring, comforting, solid. Like a really good grandpa. It’s giving countryside. It’s giving rolling hills. It’s giving dry stone walls and pubs with fireplaces.

Can’t afford Bean? No worries, because it turns out any accent that sounds ‘a bit like they could be a farmer’ will do. Think Cornish. Think Scottish. Think Welsh.

 

If you want to be friendly…

… get cockney.

Because who can hate a cheeky chappy? Nobody! Now eat a burger and buy some screws.

 

If you want to be cool…

… get ‘urban’.

Which is a weird euphemism for ‘Black and from London’, or as academics like to call it ‘Multicultural London English’. Maybe it’s to do with the rise of UK grime. Maybe it’s Hackney-based drama Top Boy. One way or another, this accent is the go-to for brands that want to signal they are down with the youth ‘n’ also with the kidz.

 

If you want to be luxurious…

… get posh.

Posh people have money. Fancy things cost money. You get my drift.

 

If you want to be all of the above…

… get this weird accent that’s all of the accents.

There’s a certain breed of VO actor that seems to specialise in ‘just posh enough to be premium’ and ‘just regional enough to be non-threatening’. It cues… nothing. It offends… no one. It is the margherita of the  voiceover world, which is absolutely fine if you’re into that sort of thing…

 

And a final shout-out to Cheryl Cole…

… for being so ridiculously good-looking, she’s finally got a Geordie accent into an ad.